All You Need to Know About Caning

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Tatyana Dyachenko
Psychologist and Relationship Adviser

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Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

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Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

How does caning turn on an individual during sexual intercourse? How often does one need to cane their partner to feel the pleasure? How effective is caning your partner? This article explains all you need to know about caning during sex.

 Whether you call it caning, spanking, or whipping, using an implement to strike your partner's body has been around for centuries and remains popular today. There are endless variations on what constitutes a cane and how it's used; this article covers some of the basics of caning, including its origins, your options when purchasing one, how to deliver blows that are not too harsh or too soft, and how to keep your submissive aroused and eager throughout the encounter. Read on to find out everything you need to know about caning.

What is Caning?

Not many people can say they've tried caning, so it can seem like an enigma when you hear about it in sexual contexts. Unlike the cane used to punish misbehaving children or other adults, Rehor (2015) explained that caning in the bedroom involves lots of pleasure and little pain, making it an excellent choice for those looking to shake up their sex lives with something new and adventurous. Canning in this topic refers to using a tool or hands to strike the breasts, buttocks, thighs, or other parts of the body to inflict pain, giving joy to both the punisher and the one being punished. Canning, however, doesn't have to be a punishment; rather, it is a reward with the act of spicing sexual pleasure in couples. 

What do you need for caning?

As with most kinks, you need a lot of negotiation and trust for caning. The submissive should ask before using any implements on their dominant, and if you are interested in caning, be sure that you both know what you're doing. If you haven't yet talked to your partner about it, you can try to choose a time when both of you are free and are in a good mood to talk about it. If talking in person about an issue like this is not your strong suit, you can try using an easier way, such as sending a message or some visuals such as GIFs or a short video of an erotic spanking and sew what your partner thinks about it. Fritz & Paul (2017) explained that one can then decide how hard you can be comfortable with and how far you are willing to go; some people might get freaked out when you reach a harder BDSM level. It is therefore important to know the limits you both have.

The main things you need for caning are a cane or some other hard implement, something to mark your submissive bottom (preferably in invisible ink), and many trusts. The marks from canes are often very intense and will stay with your partner for weeks or even months if you aren't taking care of them. So make sure that you and your partner know how long it takes for bruises or other marks to fade away. A better safe than sorry mentality is also important for caning, so check regularly during playtime on how your submissive is doing; they might not be able to tell you on their own if they're experiencing too much pain, which could be lead to a completely unexpected ending.

Tips & Tricks for Safe Enjoyment Of Cane Spanking

Always have a safety word. Although spanking is rather an enjoyable kink, it is important to note that things can get out of hand quickly, and therefore it is important to come up with a safety word in such moments. You are ready to experience some fun cane spanking with these precautions. When you are new to canning and impact pleasure, you can kick things off smoothly by using the hands or a soft tool before getting to intense and more hardcore pleasure. You can always note how big your hand is and how fleshy it is to know just how much strength you need for that perfect swing that will give the needed pleasure. Because the hands are fleshy, they will give your partner a stingy arousing feeling that they will remember again and again. 

Another thing to consider is the area on which you are hitting. The fleshier area is safe to hit. It is always important to avoid delicate areas such as the lower back, spine, tummy, or major organs. Herbenick et al. (2017) stated that the best areas to hit are the butt, thighs, and legs. However, some couples might include a light pat on the genitals or breasts. Communication is always key. It would be best to have a clear map of how far you can take the pain and how much pain is too much pain. You should also ask your partner if they bruise easily and if they are comfortable with other extreme add-ons like punching or slapping. It is important because some partners might lose the ability to talk or be covered with a gag during BDSM pleasure. So always keep on the lookout for your partner when they feel too much pain and cannot communicate with you.

The Best Positions for Caning

For caning, one of our favorite tips is to start by having your partner lie down on their back. Then, kneel behind them in a cowgirl position. Gently run your hand along their upper thighs and lean forward slightly before bringing your cane down against their skin. Caning works best when you're looking at (and touching) your partner's body, so use plenty of eye contact here. Make sure to mix things up by trying different positions with caning. According to Sheppard (2019), if you like giving spankings while standing, try leaning over your partner while they're kneeling on all fours. If you prefer sitting or lying down while administering spanks, try propping yourself up with pillows to have better access to your partner's entire body. You might even want to get creative and set up an obstacle course for them: make them walk around a room or do jumping jacks as they receive each stroke from your cane.

Getting Started with Cane Spanking

Here are some tips to ensure that your first-time trying caning goes well: First, ask yourself if you are ready to try canning. These questions will help clarify whether or not now is a good time: Do I want my partner to take control? Are we in a safe space where we feel comfortable expressing ourselves? Do I trust my partner? You may be ready for caning if you answer yes to all three questions. Next step: Talk it out. The best way to ensure that your first experience with caning goes well is by talking through what each person wants out of it ahead of time.

Conclusion

Although canning is a great and satisfying way to enjoy your night with your partner, not all partners can be comfortable with it. You can, however, incorporate canning or spanking on solo play. You can also find alternative ways to enjoy your wild fantasy without including your partner.

References 

Fritz, N., & Paul, B. (2017). From orgasms to spanking: A content analysis of the agentic and objectifying sexual scripts in feminist, for women, and mainstream pornography. Sex Roles, 77(9), 639-652.

Herbenick, D., Bowling, J., Fu, T. C., Dodge, B., Guerra-Reyes, L., & Sanders, S. (2017). Sexual diversity in the United States: Results from a nationally representative probability sample of adult women and men. PloS one, 12(7), e0181198.

Rehor, J. E. (2015). Women's sensual, erotic, and sexual behaviors from the "kink" community. Archives of sexual behavior, 44(4), 825-836.

Sheppard, E. (2019). Chronic Pain as Fluid, BDSM as Control. Disability Studies Quarterly, 39(2).