Being the Other Woman – What You Need To Know

What is the concept of being the other woman? What do you need to be the other woman? How does one get categorized as being the other woman? This article explains how an individual can be the other woman and anything one needs to know.

Being the other woman may seem like a bed of roses, but most do not have a happy ending because dating a married man is almost considered taboo.

The ‘other woman’ is a term used to describe the woman with whom a married man is involved sexually or physically. People get into such relationships for different reasons. A married man just approached a woman, and they accepted while knowing that they were married. Others found themselves attracted to a married man, and they sought an affair with the man. Dating a married man has always been condemned. It may seem like an ordinary relationship, but it is not. The following are facts that all 'other women' should know;

You Are Not a Victim

A wife should not attack the other woman because the other woman does not owe her anything. One should focus on the person to that they made vows. That's true, but that does not mean that the mistress is a victim. They would not be innocent, especially if they knew that the man was married. While the husband is to blame, it always takes two to tangle. Krisvianti & Triastuti (2020) explained that one would not have cheated if the mistress was unwilling. The mistress had to be willing for the man to cheat.

You Will Be Alone During the Holidays

When the man takes his family on vacations during holidays, you will be alone. You will have to know your place in his life because you cannot even call or text him. After all, the man told you not to. They will never take a vacation because you are supposed to be their secret. On holidays one is wholly focused on their family and flaunting photos of their family on social media, and you have to let jealousy choke you while wishing you were their wife. You probably should get yourself a boyfriend to keep you busy during the holidays, but you can,t because you are faithful to someone's man. 

His Wife Will Try to Fight You

According to Jahan et al. (2017), the wife is usually the last person to find out about her husband's affair. When a woman finds out about you, they will try to fight you physically or engage you in a war of words over the phone. Be ready to be confronted by their wife because that day will surely come as love triangles are very dangerous, and sometimes they end tragically.

If You Manage to Take Him from His Wife, He Will Treat You the Same Way

You think a man loves you more than their wife, but the truth is that the wife gets on his nerves because they share responsibilities. They raise children, run a business together, and share bills together. They have been married for a long time, so now they are bored. They want to add some spark to their life, where you come into one's life. A man does not want serious discussions with you because that will remind them of what they are trying to run away from. If you manage to get the man and keep them from their wife, you will soon have serious discussions too, and they will run off to the next woman that doesn't remind them of you.

When the Spark is Over, He Will Hop on to the Next One

When a man is looking for a spark, they will disappear as soon as the lust ends. Havan & Shraver (2017) stated that the man does not bother much about affection and true love. They get infatuated, and as soon as the infatuation ends, they hop to the next one. A man constantly pursues a new spark, and they cannot be comfortable in a union that overwhelms them with responsibilities. They want to be happy. They are not aware that life is about ups and downs. If you take them in, you must guarantee that they will always be happy. As soon as you fail to give them constant happiness throughout, they will seek someone who can make them happy.

He is Only Using You

You may think that the married man is in love with you. A person who truly loves another is not afraid to take a risk and divorce the partner to be with the one they love. But they cannot tell that leap of faith because they do not trust you. They want you to be comfortable as a mistress and be available when they want you. But they do not see you as anything more than someone they have an affair with as it is all fun for them. That is why it is always laughter between you. They want to be happy, and you have allowed them to use you as their object of happiness.

You Will Never be a priority to Him

Men's priorities are all set, and you aren't part of them. They can keep some coins aside to enjoy with you, but they cannot do that when it comes to the big things like taking care of you when you are sick. Their focus is on their wife and children only as those are the people in their records, like the next of kin. You do not have anyone to be there for you when you are not okay. Munsch (2018) explained that a married man does not want to be around them when they are not okay because you cannot make them happy when disheartened. If you are not okay, they will wait until you are okay for them to resurface.

You will Never Trust Him after He Leaves His Wife for You

You will not be able to trust a man when they leave their wives for you; thus, you will see them for who they are and understand how their wives felt when they were having an affair with you. When they say they are going on holiday with their employees, you will think they are lying since they made the same excuses to their wives when they cheated. You will be very insecure about their dealings. 

He Is Seeing Other Women

You could think that you are the only woman they are involved with besides their wives, but most married men are just philanderers. There are probably several of you. On some days, they cheat on their wives, and other days, they cheat on both their wives and you too,

If you get pregnant, you'll Most probably be a Single Mother

The man is not looking for something serious with you, and suddenly you are pregnant. When you get pregnant, it dawns on them that you were serious about them, and that's not what the man wanted. They wanted someone they would have fun with, not another family, because they did not intend to leave their wife. And that's how you will end up being a single mother walking in and out of courts seeking child support for the child you deliberately had with a married man.

Conclusion

Dating a married man is never a good idea. The woman involved with a married man might think that it is all fun and play until things go wrong. Unfortunately, when things go wrong for them, things go wrong for the man's family. The one thing that all women think about getting involved with married men is not to get involved with a married man. A mistress is only happy when the spark is present, but when reality sets, the woman will be abandoned by the same man they thought they had true love with. You cannot have true love with a married man as one must leave their wife first. All good married men do that when they want to pursue their new love interest.

References 

Hazan, C., & Shaver, P. (2017). Romantic love is conceptualized as an attachment process. In Interpersonal Development (pp. 283-296). Routledge.

Jahan, Y., Chowdhury, A. S., Rahman, S. A., Chowdhury, S., Khair, Z., Huq, K. E., & Rahman, M. M. (2017). Factors involving extramarital affairs among married adults in Bangladesh. International Journal of Community Medicine and Public Health, 4(5), 1379-1386.

Krisvianti, S., & Triastuti, E. (2020). Facebook group types and posts: Indonesian women free themselves from domestic violence. SEARCH The Journal of the South East Asia Research Centre for Communication and Humanities, 12(3), 1-17.Munsch, C. L. (2018). Correction: "her support, his support: Money, masculinity, and marital infidelity” American sociological review 80 (3): 469–95. American Sociological Review, 83(4), 833-838.