Content Verification

Written by:✓

Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

Medically Reviewed by:✓

Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

Fact Checked by:✓

Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

By Elena Ognivtseva

You may not believe that manner matter in sex as it’s basically just a carnal desire to get your rocks off. However, if you want to leave a good impression, either on your first date or even after you’ve been married for ten years, there are some basic rules of etiquette you can follow.

Of course, these don’t matter in quickies, but in the bedroom they can make the difference between considerate and selfish lover. Let’s pretend it’s the first time you’re having sex with this person.

Ladies always come first

It’s a fact that women take longer to orgasm than men do so it’s only polite to let the lady cum first. If you cum first you have the awkward, horrible situation of either

a) Leaving her thinking you’re crap and don’t understand women at all

b) Helping her orgasm when she knows you’ve already cum so unless you can get hard quickly there’s no chance of a multiple. This is the biggest turn off and only the best fantasies get a woman through this bit as how can a man with a flaccid penis get a woman aroused – answer- he can’t.

If your woman can orgasm through penetration, then brilliant you’ve found the small percentage of women who can, but make sure you listen carefully so you can ensure she climaxes at the same time or just before you do.

Before

You know every woman loves foreplay, some men actually find it boring, but if you give you will receive. Foreplay can be just as enjoyable for a man. Women need about twenty minutes to become aroused enough to climax, so if you’re wondering why she always needs a battery powered toy to cum, you’ve found your reason why. Foreplay isn’t simply snogging her face off or going straight for the clitoris and rubbing it like Aladdin’s lamp, in fact it’s avoiding sensitive areas to get her aroused. This includes stroking the inside of her thighs, that little curve in her back before her bum, lightly stroking her breasts and playing gently with her nipples. Feathery kisses, no tongues, a little sucking or biting of the lower lip. The passionate fun on French snogging, clitoris rubbing, and nipple twisting action comes ONLY when she’s already aroused, this isn’t a way to get her aroused at all.

After

Even the most considerate of lovers don’t realise that when sex is over a woman

is still in the zone. If you want her to simply enjoy the sex and nothing more, then have a cuddle and carry on but if you want her to fall in love with you or think you’re the best lover since sliced bread, look into her eyes, say all the things you did BEFORE you climaxed, tell her how beautiful she is, let her know how much you enjoyed yourself, kiss and stroke. This is the most powerful time and showing a woman you still care about her pleasure when you’ve got nothing to gain can win you mega brownie points. Many men only do the flattery and the strokes before the event as they believe they are no longer needed afterwards, but women do notice and many see your lack of after play as confirmation that you were just after one thing.

Clean- EVERYWHERE

When a woman nips to the bathroom to powder her nose before sex she isn’t simply having a tinkle. She’s washing herself down there to make sure that everything is sparkling clean and she does this even if she’s not expecting oral. Men should have the same courtesy as although you may not think rimming will figure in the foreplay, it is a possibility and if your lover is put off once, she’ll never dare go down there again.