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AM I ASEXUAL? THE REAL REASON YOU DON’T WANT TO HAVE SEX!

Am I Asexual? The Real Reason You Don’T Want To Have Sex!

  • by Jekaterina Gussarova
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Am I Asexual? The Real Reason You Don’T Want To Have Sex!

  • by Jekaterina Gussarova

Content Verification

Barbara Santini
Written by:
Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor
Veronika Matutyte
Medically Reviewed by:
Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor
Katie Lasson
Fact Checked by:
Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

💡 Quick Key Points 💡

  • 🔑 Understanding your desires is crucial – no two people are the same!
  • 🔑 Not feeling the urge to have sex? It might be time to embrace asexuality as your identity. 🤔
  • 🔑 Communication is your best friend – chatting openly with partners helps clarify everything.
  • 🔑 It's okay to not fit into societal expectations. Be your authentic self! 🌈

The path to self-discovery is a journey, not a race! 🌟

👩‍⚕️ Key Advice & Tips from Our Experts 👩‍⚕️

  • 💬 Talk it through – open communication is key to understanding your needs and boundaries.
  • ✨ Take your time – explore and reflect on your feelings, don't rush to label yourself.
  • 🌸 Experiment with different approaches to intimacy – there's no one-size-fits-all solution!
  • 🧠 Respect your desires and don't feel pressured by anyone else’s opinions or timelines.

You're on a journey of self-discovery – and that's something to celebrate! 🎉

Are you asexual? What makes you not engage in sexual pleasures with your partner when you are not asexual? Herein is a complete guide on real reasons you do not want sex, including an underlying cause, lack of exercise, and birth trauma.

Sometimes, one may decide not to engage in sexual activity. An individual may become asexual and lose sexual interest. Have you ever wondered why you do not feel like engaging in sex? It is normal not to have sex when you do not have the desire. There are genuine reasons that prevent one from enjoying sexual pleasures, and failing to experience sexual attraction is never a crime. Sexual feelings are natural and can hardly be assumed. Learn more about the facts and causes of being asexual below.

What Does it Mean to Be Asexual? 

Someone is described as asexual when they have little or no sexual affiliation or attraction. Finding someone sexually attractive or appealing gives people the urge to want to engage in sex with them. Therefore, asexual people barely want to engage in sexual activities due to the lack of sexual attraction. However, the term asexual can mean differently to different individuals. 

Some people are demisexual and only feel sexual attraction when there is a deeper connection. This means that they must be in a romantic relationship. Also, some people do not experience any sexual attraction but still engage in a sexual relationship. Generally, people have different experiences when it comes to asexuality.

Some People Do Not Experience Sexual Attraction at All

Asexual people barely experience any sexual attraction, but they are likely to experience other attraction forms. They include;

  • Romantic attraction: - the desire of being in a romantic relationship
  • Aesthetic attraction: - sexual Attraction based on physical appearance
  • Physical or sensual attraction: - the urge of wanting to hold, cuddle or touch someone 
  • Platonic attraction: - the desire to want to be a friend to someone
  • Emotional attraction: - wanting to be emotionally connected with someone

Facts About Asexuality 

  • Asexual people can have libido and sexual desire
  • Most asexual people have sexual desires and engage in romantic relationships.
  • Asexual people might also engage in sexual intercourse with their partners
  • Some asexual people often have their sexual desires and attraction shift with time
  • Some of these individuals go for nonromantic relationships 

How Asexual Works in Relationship

A situation where one partner is asexual and the other is normal can work perfectly. However, there must be honest communication between both parties. If you are asexual, talk to your partner about your sexual status and the sexual activities you are open to. Also, ensure your partner knows of the boundaries you apply around sex. 

If your lover has an extremely higher libido, you can consider engaging in an open relationship where your lover has other different sexual partners. However, their emotional commitment should be maintained. Sexual attraction is something that can change over time. However, consider something that favors your sexual needs before getting into a relationship. This will prevent you and your partner from having contradicting ideas on sexual attraction. 

Is There an Underlying Cause?

As with bisexuality or homosexuality, there has never been any underlying cause of sexuality. The general sexual features and characteristics of a person occur naturally. Unlike other different sexuality, asexuality is not a result of genetics, trauma, or a symptom of any cause. 

How Do I Know If I’m Asexual?

Although it is challenging to know if you are asexual, you can consider asking yourself a few questions. These questions will help evaluate your sexual desires and determine if you have features that align with asexuality. Below are the questions to consider;

  • What is the meaning of sexual attraction, and what does it mean to you? 
  • Are sexual activities essential to you?
  • Do you have the feelings to engage in sexual intercourse when you see attractive people
  • Do you feel like you want sexual interest because other people want you to?
  • How do you enjoy showing your affection? Is sex included? 
  • Are you interested in any sex-affiliated activities? 
  • Do you think you need to be in a relationship to prove your feelings about sex?

Generally, these questions do not need any yes or no answer, but they are meant to help you understand your sexuality. 

Helping Your Loved Ones Understand Asexuality

Being asexual is not something strange, but the problem is making people around you understand your sexuality. Generally, most people are unfamiliar with the term asexual. You can begin by explaining what asexual means. Like queer, gay, or pansexual, it is also a sexual orientation. Additionally, there are different groups of people regarding sexual affiliations. Some people are attracted to many genders, while others have a sexual attraction to one gender. However, other people barely have sexual attraction.

Other Reasons That Prevent You from Having Sex 

Lack of Exercise 

Lack of exercise alone makes it challenging for you. Generally, a lack of enough exercise will lower your confidence in sexual matters.

Birth Trauma 

Some men lose sexual interest after witnessing a birth. The whole experience is extremely traumatizing. Generally, your man will never see your vulva the same way after witnessing the birth of a child.


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