Content Verification

Written by:✓

Barbara Santini
Psychologist and Sex and Relationships Advisor

Medically Reviewed by:✓

Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor

Fact Checked by:✓

Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

By Elena Ognivtseva

There's no denying that when you are dumped emotions run high. Even if we knew the relationship wasn't really going anywhere it's still a blow that we'd rather do without.

The most natural reaction is to fight fire with fire, to hurt the person just as much as they've hurt you, to let them have a taste of their own medicine.

It may surprise you but those who do go on a revenge rampage are those that actually, on some level, want their ex's back. Deep in the subconscious, something tells us that if we can hurt them just as much, we even the playing field and leave a clean slate ready for a fresh start.

Even in relationships where we've not being dumped but just hurt a little we fight back. For instance if your boyfriend makes you jealous by flirting with another woman, as well as letting him know your displeasure, you'll probably show him exactly how it feels by flirting with ten men.

It's nature. It's not healthy or mature but it is life and let's face it, perfect is pretty boring.

This is why I've developed the best revenge and I'm ready to share the secrets. I've never been dumped but I have been cheated on (which is in essence the same thing) but I didn't have my suspicions confirmed until I ended the relationship for different reasons.

I've found that even though certain people cheated and I really didn't want them back, my own form of revenge had them sending flowers, showing up, ringing, texting, basically getting right on my nerves which is when I realised for those who do want revenge, it's the perfect strategy.

Simple Revenge

You've been dumped. You want to hurt him. You want him to realise that he's never going to find any better than you. You want him to know that he's mental for not realising just how bloody brilliant you are. You want him to hurt and you want him to see the error of his ways.

Do this:

Take a week off. Eat Ice cream, do the Bridget Jones thing. Cry, stay in pyjamas, don' shave your legs, wear your comfiest underwear and eat in bed.

Emerge from Dumpville. On your last day make an appointment with a hairdresser, a manicurist, a beauty therapist. Do some shopping, alone. Treat yourself.

Start Flirting. Set up an online dating profile have a flirt, it doesn't have to go anywhere but it's amazing how much a 'you look hot' message can boost confidence even if you wouldn't touch the chap with a barge pole.

Get Out There. Go out with friends. If friends were all mutual join classes, clubs, even the parish council to make new ones.

Take on More Work. Volunteer for the extra shift. Start an online course. Work a little longer, make more money and give work the attention it's missed while you've been with Mr not so right.

Get down with the kids. If you have children, make the most of your extra time with them. Volunteer at school, buy a puppy, get a trampoline and get down with them.

Detox. Give alcohol a wide berth for a month. It's a new trend having one alcohol free month a year. This is your month. That glass of wine will make you want to text, just avoid it altogether.

If you follow the above, without ringing, texting, asking friends about him, I guarantee within three weeks he'll be the one making contact. It may not lead to a reunion but his curiosity will get the better of him.

What will he find when he knocks on the door? A refreshed, revitalised, energetic, busy you! Now do you really have time for this prick?