What You Need to Know About the Mile High Club
Joining the Mile High Club is a fantasy most of us dream of at least once in a while, as it is an exclusive honour, being able to orgasm thirty thousand feet into the air.
However, there's a reason not many people can claim membership and that's because it's so difficult to actually have sex on a plane, unless of course you have your own private jet.
If you're planning a trip abroad and would like to add this to your list of conquests there are ways you can do it. All of these are from personal experience or straight from the horse's mouths (from friends) so they are possible.
Using the Bathroom
It's amazing how many people think the bathroom is the only place to join the mile high club. Yes it has a lock on the door and offers privacy but really if you are extrovert enough to want to join the Mile High Club you should have the courage of your convictions (see later).
If you really don't want to choose anywhere else, here's how to make the bathroom work for you.
1) Choose a time that's right
The middle of the flight or while everyone is enjoying their in-flight meal is ideal. Don't decide on twenty minutes before landing or straight after the plastic trays have been cleared away, you'll have a queue listening to your every groan.
2) Strip before entering
You're never going to be able to get naked in the bathroom, so take as much as you can off discreetly before going in. Travel in a skirt, remove your shoes (every centimetre counts in the bathroom, there's no place for 3 inch heels), and make sure your partner can pop out without barriers.
3) Take a vibrator
Take a lipstick sized bullet vibrator, you deserve to come too!
4) Have foreplay in your seats
If you choose the bathroom you need to get in and out quickly (pardon the pun), so have bits of foreplay in your seats. Put a coat over your laps, stroke and nibble, whisper dirty fantasies, and then finish in the toilet.
5) Scope out the size
If you both (separately) check out the size and the possibilities beforehand you'll know which position will work. Fumbling and banging will arouse suspicion so be prepared.
The Best Positions for Joining the Mile High club are:
Over the sink - he kneels on the toilet; you bend over the little sink. He can put his feet either side of the loo and stand too, if he has small feet.
Backwards cowgirl - Forget trying to have sex as you would on the loo or a chair at home, there's not enough foot space. You can do backwards cowgirl though. Perfect for using the vibrator too!
Other Ways to Join
I have a male cousin who joined by seducing an air hostess. They had sex against the coffee machine behind the cockpit.
The red eye is ideal as you can do it when everyone's asleep. Even if you can't have sex you can mutually masturbate which qualifies as joining the Mile High club.
Don't forget there are other modes of transport to conquer too, trains, boats, coaches"
Even if it ends in disaster you'll still look back on it with fond memories.