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WHY DO I CRY AFTER SEX?

Why Do I Cry After Sex?

  • by Jekaterina Gussarova
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Why Do I Cry After Sex?

  • by Jekaterina Gussarova

Content Verification

Tatyana Dyachenko
Written by:
Tatyana Dyachenko
Psychologist and Relationship Adviser
Veronika Matutyte
Medically Reviewed by:
Veronika Matutyte
Medical Doctor
Katie Lasson
Fact Checked by:
Katie Lasson
Sex and Relationship Adviser

✨ Summary of Key Points ✨

🧠 Understanding emotions during intimacy is crucial. Emotional reactions are completely normal!

💖 Crying after sex isn’t always sadness; it can be a release of built-up tension or pure joy.

🌸 Communication with your partner can help unravel the reasons behind your emotional response.

💤 Ensure self-care, as post-sex emotions may involve physical fatigue, which can trigger tears.


💡 Key Advice and Tips from Our Experts 💡

💬 Be open about your feelings with your partner – communication is key to emotional intimacy!

🧘‍♀️ Practice mindfulness and breathing exercises to soothe any unexpected post-sex emotions.

💆‍♂️ Relaxation rituals, like a warm bath or gentle touch, can help alleviate emotional tension.

❤️ Trust yourself! Understanding your emotions is a journey, and there’s no wrong way to feel.


Most people find sex intriguing and enjoyable, especially when partnered. During consensual intimacy, neurotransmitters, including dopamine and oxytocin are released by the brain, leading to positive feelings, such as happiness and pleasure. On the other hand, unconsented intimacy might provoke negative emotions that may harm an individual. So why does one cry after sex? This question has two approaches. While some cry out of a wonderful experience and feeling, others go through hurtful emotions that will still be remembered for long. It is vital to note that sex does not always lead to orgasms.

Reasons For Crying After Sex

Crying is a natural reaction to intense feelings. Some people experience postcoital dysphoria or postcoital tristesse, a medical issue that results in strong feelings, such as anxiety, distress, and sadness after copulation. Below are some of the reasons, sad or happy, why people cry after sex.

Happiness

Tears of joy can be triggered after sexual intercourse due to an amazing experience or satisfaction acquired after a long anticipation. 

Biological Response

During sexual intercourse, the body releases hormones, such as oxytocin, estrogen, and testosterone. A rise in testosterone facilitates the urge for penetration in women. This leads to an intense orgasm at the end. Crying can be a mechanism used to calm the nerves down.

Painful Intercourse

Also referred to as Dyspareunia, pain after sex can make one cry. Several reasons may lead to painful sex. Some are structural problems while others are psychological concerns. Here are some of them.

Less or Insufficient Lubrication

For amazing sexual intercourse, one needs to be fully aroused to avoid unnecessary injuries. Therefore, lubricants are essential to ease penetration and have an awesome ending.

Infections

Sexually transmitted diseases and urinary tract infections are a big threat to individuals. They can cause painful feelings during intimacy, leading to uncomfortable thrusting. After sex, one can cry due to the torture that they went through.

Vaginismus

This refers to the fear of having intercourse or any form of vaginal penetration. Due to anxiety, the vaginal muscles automatically react and contract on their own, making penetration hard and painful. Due to the uncomfortable experience, one can get sore on the genitalia, leading to crying.

Past Sexual Abuse or Trauma

When individuals go through female genital mutilation, sexual harassment, rape, or pelvic surgery, they can experience painful experiences. Female Genital Mutilation is considered a rite of passage in some communities, yet it often cause injuries and infections to the genitalia. Furthermore, women who have gone through it lack arousal sensations, making penetration difficult. This leads to painful coitus and drives one to a deep sad mood, hence crying.

The thoughts of rape and sexual harassment do not go away easily. Victims go through a hard time trying to cope with the thoughts, which might be renewed in their minds every time they have sexual intercourse. This refreshes the occurrences and may lead to involuntary crying after sex. The victims might have looked for help from medical practitioners or friends. However, that might not be enough to get rid of the pain and torture they went through.

Shame

This is a powerful negative response to sexual emotions. Some people might feel shameful about how their bodies look. Since they are not confident with their bodies, they might think their partners also feel the same. This may hinder them from enjoying sex, therefore, experiencing pain during and after sex.

Men with erectile dysfunction find it hard to erect or orgasm, making the session longer. They might not satisfy their significant others or bruise them. This might make them feel ashamed of their under-performance, leading to crying.

Guilt

One might have sexual intercourse with someone else other than their partner. This may later lead to guilty feelings due to self disappointment. The thought of their partners knowing of the occurrence might make them more stressed, hence crying to relieve themselves.

First-timers in sexual intercourse might feel guilty after intimacy due to the myths in the society that portray sex as dirty and evil. They may feel like they have sinned and therefore disappointed in themselves. This may lead to a breakdown after intimacy.

Anxiety

This is majorly linked to erectile dysfunction. Anxiety is majorly experienced by men and is less in women. When one is anxious about giving a wonderful performance for exciting orgasms, they may experience erectile dysfunction. This leads to delayed ejaculation, making intercourse less interesting.

What To Do If Your Partner Cries After Sex

You might not be the type of person who breaks down after sex. Seeing your partner cry might put you in an uncomfortable position leaving you with questions about why it is happening. Do not be quick to anger. Probably, you do not know what might have caused the feeling.

Calm down and approach your partner reasonably. Know what is happening and provide a shoulder to lean on. Do not be too inquisitive because some situations might be draining. Your partner might not be ready to share their issues with you at that moment. Let them calm and understand them later.

Conclusion

Although sexual intercourse is fun and interesting, it does not always lead to orgasms. Several reasons might lead to one crying after sex as highlighted in this blog. You now have a perfect understanding of why some people cry after intercourse. 

People have different battles and struggles. If your partner cries after sex, be nice and check on them. Give them an ear and a shoulder to lean on. People suffering from postcoital dysphoria should seek medical intervention and get help. They might also voice their issue to a trusted friend and get some advice.


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