How Do I Get Into the Bondage and Fetish Scene? Part 1
How Do I Get Into the Bondage and Fetish Scene? Part 1
Following the Fifty Shades of Grey phenomena there has been an increased interest in fetish nights and dedicated kink clubs. The trouble is that these niche events can be tricky to break into if you're not au fait with the rules and they can be quite intimidating in theory if you're a newcomer to the scene. Clubs are clamping down on the protocol and decorum expected and it's easy to find yourself turned away for not fitting in with their rules.
This guide to attending fetish clubs has been written especially for first-time attendees and those curious about what goes on in these mysterious and sexy clubs.
What is a Fetish Club Like?
No two fetish clubs are ever the same, with each branded night having a preference as to whether or not they host performance and fashion shows, what music they play and which interactive features they install. Most nights will have at least one dedicated dungeon space for play, with larger nights hosting in excess of 5 different play rooms alongside the main dance floor and bar areas. Each club night has a different vibe and atmosphere, just like regular clubs, so it's a good idea to visit lots of different events to get a feel for what you prefer.
The venue makes a huge difference to your experience and for this reason, many fetish events host nights at multiple venues to offer new and exciting experiences every time. Smaller venues may have an atmosphere closer to that of a swinging club, while the larger events can feel like you're visiting a small festival. Venue details are usually advertised, so you can look them up on the internet to get a feel for the size and layout before deciding to attend.
Music is varied with some clubs favouring alternative sounds such as rock and goth, while others have a strict electro and house music vibe. The best nights offer an eclectic mix of music to cater for all tastes, with dedicated DJs playing their preferred musical genres. Check the event flyers and website pages for more info about the music on offer.
You can expect to see a lot of skin, plenty of elaborate outfits and some very beautiful and original styles. Fetish nights encourage people to fully express themselves with how they dress, so you can expect to feel enamored with the amazing array of outfits on display.
Some fetish clubs offer stage shows which have different themes and it's always wise to see who's billed to performed. Fashion shows are a popular choice, as are bondage rigging and kinky play demonstrations. Many clubs also offer more extreme shows which include flesh hook suspensions, blood play, toilet play and even the odd Roman shower. Viewer discretion is most definitely advised.
What Happens in a Fetish Club?
Many people expect fetish nights to be overtly sexual, but what you see will really depend on how big the club space is and which areas of the club you frequent. The smaller the venue, the more in your face the action will be. Likewise, if you spend time in dungeon spaces and couples rooms, you'll see a lot more flesh and play than you would at the bar or on the dancefloor.
BDSM clubs are very liberal in their attitudes toward play, so you can expect to see naked people, spankings and bondage, sexual activity and sometimes full-blown orgies. Often play will be reserved for specialist areas, but generally you'll find kinky activities in most parts of the club as the night goes on.
How Do I Find a Local Fetish Club?
As with most things kink, Google is your friend. Try different combinations of search terms such as 'fetish club [city], 'fetish [city], 'BDSM [city] and the like. If you're not getting the results you want, try signing up to a specialist community such as FetLife to target in a blank window] and searching for memebers in your locality. This social media site is geared specifically toward kinksters, so you'll find it easy to meet like-minded folk who'll be able to give you the lowdown on what's happening.
When speaking to people on FetLife, be sure to be polite and to explain why you're contacting them. Most people are very friendly and will be more than willing to help you find your feet in the local scene. Be polite and courteous and be careful not to overstep boundaries, you aren't looking for a play partner yet. It's also worth remembering that members of these sites prefer you don't send them a friend request until you have built a rapport over several email exchanges.