CAN OUR SEXUAL FANTASIES COME TRUE?
Anyone can have some sexual fantasies buried deep inside their consciousness. The question is, can these fantasies be a reality? Find out more about sexual fantasies and if they can come true by reading this article.
You might have asked yourself if your sexual fantasies or dreams will ever come true at some point in life. Bivona, J. M., & Critelli, J. W. (2008) suggests that fantasies and dreams are subconscious wishes that do not necessarily reflect wishes. The same question might be asked by a friend, partner, or another person you have a close relationship with. You may never know the answer to this. Human beings have the deepest sexual fantasies that they would like to experience. Many people don't realize that sexual fantasies have everything to do with sexual encounters. It is part of your imagination and is something that, in most cases, cannot come true because it is an idea that solely belongs to your mind.
The mind has its screenplay, landscapes, details, and the actor of the fantasies all in place. These things are less likely to become true because that environment cannot exist in reality. If it happens in reality, it may consist of bits similar to your fantasies but not fully the same. These sexual fantasies can be erotic stories that someone can write in books and create a film with them, but they can't be in real-life situations.
Most people are confused between the idea of sexual desire and fantasies. It is tough to differentiate the two because both come from vivid mental presentations in your imaginative capacity. They also depend on your mental state. Asking yourself, ‘’What Am I Able to Imagine?’’; becomes your sexual fantasy. On the other hand, asking yourself, ‘’What Do I Want?’’; becomes a sexual desire. Therefore, it is always best to note the difference between sexual fantasies and desires. Sexual desires mostly explore erotic imaginations to feed the sexual intercourse requirements. They also determine a person's moral values and are based on the degree of that desire until you put it into practice.
On the other hand, sexual fantasies mainly teach people how far they can reach and what the level of their taste limits are. In most cases, sexual fantasies represent a world map of a person's imagination, and they are not linked to any moral values and principles. Sexual fantasies are applicable in the mental world but are not kept in reality. Moreover, sexual desires arouse a person, whereas fantasies make a person excited.
We can deduce that sexual desire is a feasible act because it has the approval of mental instincts and encouragement, while sexual fantasies depend on the person. They are non-feasible, and, in most cases, nobody can confront them.
To make sexual fantasies come true, turn them into a deep desire, which will deprive them of all the qualities that made it a fantasy. A sexual fantasy for one person can be a desire for another person. If you follow that process, a person's sexual fantasy at some stage in life may turn into a deep desire in a different stage of life later. For instance, if a 15-year-old girl or boy fantasizes about having oral sex one day, at thirty years old, that fantasy will turn into a desire that they can explore. For some people, the sexual fantasy of practicing oral sex may remain a fantasy because they are guided by their principles and moral values, religion, or sexual wishes. Their society might not tolerate such acts, and therefore it can't be converted into a sexual desire to explore.
Some people may think that combining sexual fantasies and desires is innocent. Your social control mechanisms make you feel guilty about what you have fantasies about. When that happens, it makes you believe that what you fantasize about is, in reality, what you desire. That makes people fearful of themselves and easily led and controlled out of the right way. As we all know, fear can never co-exist with knowledge.
How to Make Your Sexual Fantasies Come True
Talk to Your Partner
Being honest and striking a conversation with your partner is good for a healthy relationship. Communication is what you need when experimenting with new ideas in the bedroom. Suppose you want to open up to your partner about your sexual fantasies; it's best to do it privately. Be respectful of what your partner will say about your idea since it is not a guarantee they will be on the same side as you.
Be Prepared
Once you have discussed your fantasy idea with your partner and they are into it, it is good to be prepared for the same. If your fantasies include food, handcuffs, or whips, make sure you collect them before your moment comes. When experimenting with your fantasies, use safe words to establish a good rapport with your partner. You can determine if your partner is feeling comfortable or not with what you are practicing. If things don't go your way, it is better to avoid facing problems and try later when everyone is ready.
The Bottom Line
When relating your fantasies to real life, you may not need to transform all the elements of your fantasies into desire. Fantasizing about some sexual encounters doesn’t mean it should be converted into sexual desires for you to explore. You can fantasize about being dominated in a dungeon or somewhere creepy. However, in reality, what you need is your partner tying you up with handcuffs or ankle cuffs during sex. Explore your fantasies by turning them into desires.
References
Bivona, J. M., & Critelli, J. W. (2008). Women's Erotic Rape Fantasies (Doctoral dissertation, University of North Texas).