Guide To Safe WordsGuide To Safe Words
What are the safewords, and why are they important? This blog has everything you need to know about using safewords and signals to get started in kinky sex and standard couple sex.
You may have encountered discussions about safewords when reading about BDSM and other forms of kinky sex. Despite being common in the kink community, safewords can also apply to standard couple sex. The choice of safe words and when to use them can be overwhelming, especially if you know nothing about them. For instance, using a common word like “stop” can end the sex play when the submissive does not want it to end.
What are Safewords?
They are unique signals or words said when kinky sex or standard sex turns more intense, painful, or crossed boundaries. When the safe word is used, the dominant should stop the play instantly to avoid compromising the submissive’s safety, slow down or continue, depending on the word’s meaning.
While establishing these words is important, couples should not rely on them as the only boundary in the play. For that reason, you need to talk and create other boundaries that work for both of you before you start sailing to ensure the type of sex you have is safe. Safewords may not be a big deal for some couples because they are used to having sex without them. If you are one of these couples, know you are risking your safety, and the consequences may drain you financially, emotionally, and physically.
Why are Safe Words Important?
Couples can easily forget their boundaries when things heat up during sexual play. Establishing safe words can help when the dominant and submissive feel they are pushed out of their sexual comfort zones in group sex, BDSM play, or role-play. Know your limits in breath play, spanking, and restriction using handcuffs. As the submissive, your limit should be when the pleasure and pain game does not deliver the pleasure anymore or gets too intense for you mentally or physically.
Common Safewords for Everyone
Also known as the traffic light system, common safewords carry different colors that help communicate how you feel in various sexual situations to your partner. Even when things heat up in the bedroom, these words are easy to remember. The common ones include;
Red
In the dungeon, red also means stop. Uttering this word implies your lover should instantly stop the play. Do not hesitate to show this sign if things get out of hand. Responding to this safeword should not take long if your lover is caring and responsible for your safety.
Yellow (Amber)
Yellow is the ideal safeword when your lover takes the play too fast. Whether in bondage play, role play, or group sex, couples should take baby steps to avoid compromising their safety. For this safeword to be used, one might have reached the limit or be uncomfortable with the play.
Green
In traffic, green suggests continuity of hitting the highway. This is the same case in sexual play when your lover likes what you are doing. If you see green in your BDSM or role play, your lover is trying to say they are comfortable with the pleasure-pain game, and you should continue. Depending on your agreement, you can use other unpopular safe words like the submissive’s full name and words like “bananas” to mean your lover should stop the play. On the other hand, use “Apple” to communicate to your lover that they should slow down the play for more enjoyment.
What To Consider When Choosing A Safe Word
Contrary to people’s take on choosing safewords, getting one for your play can be a little daunting. Choosing safewords can go to the extent of demanding your brainpower to get something both of you will be comfortable with. The safeword should be understandable and recognizable even in the heat of the moment. Nonetheless, the word should not be easily misinterpreted. Here are the other tips for choosing the best safeword.
Involve Your Lover and Keep It Simple
As you brainstorm together on the word to use in your sexual endeavors, understanding the safeword should be simple. Simplicity will help create a word both of you will remember in the heat of the moment.
Ensure It Is Non-Sex Related
The safeword you choose should be far from any sexual context. Think of fruit, sexy celebrity, or vegetable when choosing the word.
Have the Safeword Talk
As people with different experiences, some words may bear different meanings to each of you. For that reason, you need a safeword to talk to know the words you will use in sex and their respective meaning. This will help create and maintain a safe and comfortable environment.
Alternatives to Safe Words
Creating alternatives to safe words can help when the mouth is busy, hindering the words uttering. Pinching is one of the vital signals that can indicate the end of the play. This gesture is easy to do when the mouth is occupied and can easily be noticed if your hands are close to your lover.
Snapping fingers can also give a visual clue to your lover to stop what they are doing. Dominating partners can also use safe words and signals. For that reason, you can choose the same word or come up with different words that will ensure you have safe sex. Even if it comes from the dominating partner, pay attention to the word to keep the play safe and pleasurable.
The Bottom Line
Why everyone should have a safeword in bed? Safewords are important for any sexual situation you may find yourself in. These words and signals ensure you indulge in various forms of sex without compromising your safety. Read more about safewords in this blog and try putting into practice the information for safe BDSM play, role play, and group sex.