HOW TO HAVE A FMF THREESOME AS A FEMINIST

A threesome, especially one involving two females, can be challenging but interesting. Whether you are in a relationship or not. It's also about navigating new power dynamics that make a threesome worthwhile. As a feminist, things will not be that different, but there are a few factors to consider to pull it off successfully like resolving what you want, being adventurous, and keeping in touch.

Some people are familiar with the term threesome, also known as a three-way is a popular fantasy, but not many are willing to try it in the real sense. Maybe it's because of the awkwardness involved or the navigation around that may at times feel intimidating. A threesome involves three people having sex simultaneously; this can be two males and a female (MFM) or two females and a man (FMF). You have seen this on screens either on porn or on R-rated movies, films, or shows. The people involved can be those who don't share any relationship or simply a couple introducing a new bed partner. Most threesomes involve two females and a male, but how do you pull this threesome off as a feminist?

Resolve What You Want

Be sure of what you want, whether you are looking for a regular thing but still casual or more of a polyamory relationship or a one-night stand. Consider the person you take to bed; they might be a friend or a stranger, as Lowman et al. (2008) suggested. However, you need to be careful about the friend you are reaching out to and think about how they'd react. Communication is also important as you need to let the other woman understand what you are looking for to ensure you are on the same page. It is wrong to lie to someone in bed, and being untruthful about your intentions may hurt their feelings.

Pre-Plan

Some people are not into planning when it comes to sex. Keep in mind that you are having three people over in this case, and it is crucial to plan. Decide on where you are going to meet up for the fling and on what day of the week works with everyone's schedule. Thinking and planning about these will help avoid awkwardness and make things easier.

You n Talk To The Other Woman Frequently.

Communication is important whether you are inviting someone new for the fling or a friend. You need to talk to the other woman a lot to set boundaries and understand each other better. You will know what fantasies and sexual desires you share as a woman and understand your compatibility. According to Scoats & Anderson (2019), talking will also help minimize the factor of jealousy as you will trust Your woman over time and not see her as a threat to your relationship.

It's a Three-Way Activity.

This fling is not all about you and your partner only. Introducing another partner means that all of you are participating equally. Avoid treating the other woman like a human sex toy you’ve brought to play. This is another reason why talking is important to find out what the other woman likes and what she doesn't. Check on your woman lightly, like asking questions such as “'do you love that?” you don't want to stop an intense moment every time to ask questions, so do it seldom but ensure you do this. It is important to avoid situations where they feel intimidated by your partner's consent.

Be Adventurous

You can understand the woman’s desires and fantasies after having honest conversations. You can try new things and incorporate new techniques and activities in bed without any problems. According to Rupp et al. (2014), inviting another woman to have sex with is fun to get adventurous and experimental. This is one of the beauties of a threesome and what's even more interesting is that you are three minds, and this is an added advantage, the more, the merrier.

Find Time To Hang Out.

Sex is greater when you know someone better this also makes intimacy deeper. This is also important in this case. You can find time to hang out either with the three of you or with the other woman; this way, you will get to know the person better. Grayson & McNeill (2009) noted that spending time at a bar or restaurant or chilling in the house will make you feel more at ease around the other partner. It will also help you trust them and not see them as intimidating. This will also reduce the awkwardness involved when you see each other outside the bedroom.

Keep In Touch

Avoid making things awkward after the threesome; the other person was not an escort you had a fling with, and let them go. You can text or call your partner after the fling to check up on them. Do this whether you had agreed the fling was to be a one-night stand or something that would be a regular, whether it was with your friend or someone new. It’s rude and disrespectful to leave someone hanging, especially after a fling.

Boundaries Are Not A Stepping Stone

A threesome is also dynamic like any other type of sex. Perhaps you first wanted a one-time thing, but after the fling, you fell in love with the threesome and wanted it to be a regular thing. You have to be honest about it to both your partner and the other person. You want to notify your partner and see how they feel about the idea. You also need to notify the other party about your intentions and see whether they are comfortable with the idea or not. Respect the decisions of others.

Learn To Trust

The biggest disadvantage of a threesome, especially if it's a couple inviting a third party, is jealousy. Going by societal norms, it is like women to distrust any other woman around your man as they pause as a threat. Trust is one thing that will cut you off if you are to pull this fling off successfully.

You must understand that your partner may get actively involved with the other partner as he would with you; you need to control your feelings. It is okay to feel a little jealous, but you have to understand where those feelings are coming from. Suppose they are rooted in something. It would be best if you came out honest to your partner and the other person. Also, if they are based on your insecurities, you need to deal with them. Keep in mind that communication here is key.

Conclusion

Pulling off a threesome requires a lot of work. Communication is important to avoid things getting awkward or out of hand. If you invite a third person to play, treat them more like a partner than a stranger. There is also the issue of jealousy; you need to get over your insecurities if you want to have a threesome. It is also important that you trust the other woman, whatever the case. Society doesn't seem to support this issue, and judgmental people will meet you. Remember that the issue is with them and not you, so enjoy yourself.

References

Grayson, R. A., & McNeill, L. S. (2009). Using atmospheric elements in service retailing: understanding the bar environment. Journal of Services Marketing.

Lowman, M. D., Burgess, J., Burgess, E., & Prance, G. T. (2008). It's Jungle Up There. In Its Jungle Up There. Yale University Press.

Scoats, R., Joseph, L. J., & Anderson, E. (2018). ‘I don’t mind watching him cum’: Heterosexual men, threesomes, and the erosion of the one-time rule of homosexuality. Sexualities, 21(1-2), 30-48.Rupp, L. J., Taylor, V., Regev-Messalem, S., Fogarty, A. C., & England, P. (2014). Queer women in the hookup scene: Beyond the closet?. Gender & Society, 28(2), 212-235.