THREE’S ALLOWED: TRIPLE YOUR PLEASURE WITH THREESOME ADVICE
Threesomes can be a great idea to spice things in your sex life, and that can happen if there is open communication, some rules, and an understanding of the consequences of a threesome.
The background to having a threesome is based on the fact that having sex with the same person all the time can be monotonous and boring. Some couples would rather have an affair than being confined in a monogamous union. Some people love monogamy, but they fantasize about having sex with their partners and an extra person. Most sexually adventurous persons have threesomes on their bucket list.
Communication
You cannot just decide to invite a third party into your bedroom without discussing it with your partner. For you to have an enjoyable threesome, it must be consensual. Communicating your desires to your partner is the first step. According to Scoats & Anderson (2019), communication helps mitigate the negative effects of the relationship. You should communicate about your fantasies, and if your partner agrees to be part of the party, you can invite a third person. Some people are in relationships where they are free enough to engage their partner in their journey toward pursuing their fantasies. Before talking to your partner about your desire to have a threesome, you must understand them and their expectations in the bedroom. Do not be upset if your partner does not want a threesome. Also, do not guilt them into being involved in it.
A Threesome Will Not Heal Your Relationship
A threesome will not heal your relationship unless you use it as an excuse to get involved with the third person and deny your partner the attention. People think that threesomes can spice a relationship, but the excitement is usually permanent. What next after the third party leaves in the morning? How will the relationship be with your partner without the third party? That’s why most people invite a third party to live with them in a current trend known as a throuple. A throuple is a relationship or marriage of three people. Even though jealousy might exist, sex therapists come in handy, according to Schwartz et al. (2020). People in a relationship or a marriage are the only ones that can make the relationship better. The third-party only comes to spice things up, not to rebuild.
Set the Rules
If your partner is okay with you having a threesome, some rules must be set so that you don’t disagree during sex. Set rules such as availability, use of protection, sex objects, and if the same gender can indulge in each other. The rules must be understood by the three of you before having sex. Some sexual experiences have been a disaster because the partners disagreed.
Be Free To Abandon It Anytime
You need to be honest with yourself and your partner. If you feel uncomfortable with the act, abandon it no matter what you agree with your partner because if you continue with it, you will not enjoy it. Do not have a threesome to please your partner. However, have it because you do not want to be left out of the excitement. If you have a threesome to please your partner, you will feel shame, guilt, regret, and sometimes resentment.
You Might Develop Feelings
Fahs (2011) noted that threesomes are thrice as sensual as ordinary sex. There is a lot of touching. You may have set the rules and boundaries about relating to each other, but human emotions do not respect promises, rules, and boundaries. You can develop feelings for the third party. You might also be jealous when your partner pays more attention to the third party. These are feelings that can not be controlled.
A Threesome Will Most Likely Change the Relationship
A threesome is not an innocent activity to start and end without changing a relationship. The change may be huge or light. The huge changes you should expect are contracting a disease, pregnancy, or abandonment of a partner for a third party. Once the third party leaves, you might end up regretting the threesome. Sometimes it may even cause you to drift further from each other.
Conclusion
A threesome may be just what you need to have fun with someone else and not feel like you are cheating on your partner. It may be exciting, and you may have even more episodes of threesomes if done right. However, it is an activity that you should venture into cautiously. It should not leave a sour taste in your mouth when it ends. Rather, it should be an experience that you are glad to pursue, and you are happy you did because you enjoyed it.
References
Scoats, R., & Anderson, E. (2019). ‘My Partner Was Just All Over Her’: Jealousy,
Communication and Rules in Mixed-sex Threesomes. Culture, Health & Sexuality, 21(2), 134-146.
Schwartz, A., Yarbrough, E., & McIntosh, C. A. (2020). Sex and Relationship Issues in
Work With the LGBTQ Community. Focus, 18(3), 277-284.
Fahs, B. (2011). Performing sex: The Making and Unmaking of Women's Erotic Lives. Suny Press.