LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR SELF-CONSCIOUS SEX
Understanding how sex affects our life is critical, no matter how taboo the subject may seem. Our views and relationships with sex are influenced by cultural, family, and psychological variables even before we participate in the act. As a result, we may either avoid developing unhealthy sexual self-esteem or build one if we do decide to engage in sexual activity. Our perceptions about our bodies may mess with our thoughts when lying in our beds. When it comes to sexual desire and arousal, women's perceptions of their bodies have a significant influence. According to Kaur & Singla 2020), body dysmorphia is common in adolescents. Men may experience body dysmorphia, but it doesn't have the same impact on their sexual performance as it does on women. A negative self-image is one of the most significant impediments to women's sexual pleasure, desire, and response, even more so than difficulties in romantic relationships. According to Mafra, Castro & Lopes (2016), a woman's sexual desire is influenced by her self-perception and her partner's perception of her body.
How the Female Sees Herself
Bilardi et al. (2013) state that a woman with poor sexual self-esteem is less likely to engage in sexual behavior. When one part of the reproductive cycle is disturbed, other parts of the cycle are likely to be affected, including arousal, desire, and orgasm. Because of her increased self-consciousness and fear of being seen or touched, the less she will be able to let go of control and allow herself to get aroused. Orgasm difficulties are more likely to occur if a woman is concerned about her weight or the size of her parts of the body (the most common female rule of measurement).
How She Believes Other People See Her
If a woman believes that she is attracted to her spouse (or other possible partners), her sexual performance will be improved. Her desire and capacity to get aroused will be hampered if she perceives those others see her body badly, regardless of the facts. According to Heidari et al. (2019), a woman's perception of her attractiveness may contribute to menopausal libido reduction and hormonal changes. Women in their forties and fifties frequently lament that they aren't getting any attention from males and, consequently, have decreased libido. It's that sensation that gets them pumped up.
There are a few things you can do to address body image problems and get back on course sexually:
Believe in Your Partner
Your companion is right; trust them. Most men complain that they are disappointed when they believe their spouse to be really attractive, but she does not feel the same way about her own body, and thus rejects their advances.
Before And During Sex, Try To Avoid Negative Self-Talk
Become conscious of the dissenting voice in your head when anticipating sexual encounters and try to silence it. Recognize and acknowledge that you have a right to sexual enjoyment and that it may strengthen your relationship.
Become Aware Of Your Thoughts and Feelings.
There is no judgment in mindfulness. For a few minutes each day, sit quietly and study your ideas without believing them as real. Allow yourself to be interested and not pass judgment on the sensation or concept. As we investigate our ideas and emotions, we realize they are only feelings and thoughts, not actual things.
Do a Few Kegels
Use a Kegel exercise to bring your thoughts back to your body and stop them from straying. Frequently, the strain of squeezing your pelvic muscles is enough to keep your mind from thinking about anything else.
Take Deep Breaths
When you're having sex, pay attention to your breathing. Let go of the negative ideas and concentrate on the experience for a moment or two. Regular meditation may help you learn this skill even in less stressful settings.
Keep Your Gaze Fixed On Your Companion
Watch the way your body reacts to the way he moves during sexual antics. Let yourself get swept up in his excitement as he grows more engrossed in your company. Don't be surprised if there are physical signs that he likes you. It's not uncommon for an ED sufferer to display physical tension and verbal admiration while expressing his desire.
We're All Basic Animals Deserving Respect and Affection
In other words, "I see boobs" or "naked lady in front of me" are the only things men think when they look at a naked woman. This is difficult, but you must remember how blessed those fortunate enough to see your nude body are.
Make An Effort To Get To Know Oneself Better
To boost your sexual self-confidence, you must discover what you want and what you don't. In other words, be honest and don't feel bad about it. When it comes to developing healthy sexual self-esteem, trying to get to know yourself on a more personal level may help you do that. Knowing who we are is essential. Self-relationships are the foundation of all other relationships, whether platonic or romantic. If this relationship is broken, we are more likely to have problems in other relationships. Any of these connections may calm sex and relationships at different moments.
Be Upfront With Your Spouse About Your Sexual Preferences
Communication is essential in any relationship. It's easier to speak of what you want and don't want if you have a greater knowledge of yourself, your body, and your personal history. In any case, it's critical to discuss this before engaging in any sexual activity. This will let your partner know his boundaries for a sane and safe sexual activity. Through this process, you and your partner may learn more about each other's quirks, limits, and potential shame triggers. Communication can also save you from injuries during sexual encounters. Before engaging in bedroom activities with your spouse, you should discuss sexuality and sex concerns. Intimate experiences like sex may be shared with a single person or a group of people, or even a single person in a one-on-one session.
References
Kaur, A., Kaur, A., & Singla, G. (2020). Rising dysmorphia among adolescents: A cause for concern. Journal of family medicine and primary care, 9(2), 567-570.
Mafra, A. L., Castro, F. N., & Lopes, F. D. A. (2016). Investment in beauty, exercise, and self-esteem: Are they related to self-perception as a romantic partner?. Evolutionary Psychological Science, 2(1), 24-31.
Bilardi, J. E., Walker, S., Temple-Smith, M., McNair, R., Mooney-Somers, J., Bellhouse, C., ... & Bradshaw, C. (2013). The burden of bacterial vaginosis: women's experience of the physical, emotional, sexual and social impact of living with recurrent bacterial vaginosis. PloS one, 8(9), e74378.
Heidari, M., Ghodusi, M., Rezaei, P., Abyaneh, S. K., Sureshjani, E. H., & Sheikhi, R. A. (2019). Sexual function and factors affecting menopause: a systematic review. Journal of menopausal medicine, 25(1), 15-27.