WHAT IS AROMANTICISM?

Relationships and dating are viewed as universal goals and a rite of passage people go through to fit into society. What happens when one is not capable of experiencing romantic emotions in romantic relationships? Herein, we discuss aromanticism and all it entails.

Some people love the intense emotions that come with romantic relationships. The feelings of desire, passion, and closeness; all which are essential for the budding of any romantic relationship. Some people have no desire to experience romantic feelings or get into any romantic relationship, although several people have different views regarding romantic relationships. Such types of people are known as aromantic, and their view on romantic relationships is what is known as aromanticism.

Defining Aromanticism

Gold (2018) stated that Aromanticism is a sexual orientation like lesbianism and gayism. The only difference between aromanticism and other sexual orientations is that it involves little to no romantic feelings towards other people. However, it is important to note that aromantic people are capable of spiritual love toward friends and family. They do not need to form or engage in romantic activities like kissing, cuddling, and holding hands; affective touch. Aromanticism exists across a spectrum. There are some sub-groups within aromanticism that people conform to and which make it easier to understand their sexuality.

Cupioromantic

Cupioromantic Refers to aromantic people who love being part of romantic relationships.

Lithromantic

Lithromantic, also known as akioromantic, refers to people who experience feelings of romantic attraction but they do not want to have these romantic feelings reciprocated. If a Lithromantic person has their romantic feelings reciprocated, they may terminate the relationship.

Gray-Aromantic

Gray-aromantic people rarely experience romantic emotions, as Stucki (2018) stated. However, this does not mean that they cannot experience romantic feelings.

Quoiromantic

These individuals cannot tell the difference between platonic and romantic attraction.

Demiromantic

Schudson & van Anders (2019) stated that demiromantic individuals experience romantic attraction after having an emotional bond with someone.

Differentiating Aromanticism And Asexuality

Asexual people are part of the LGBTQIA community. The A in LGBTQIA represents people who identify as asexual. Some people use the terms aromanticism and sexuality interchangeably, which is wrong because as much as they are similar, they hold different meanings. Aromanticism is all about romantic attraction and romantic relationships, while asexuality majors with sexual attraction. With that definition, it is clear that there is a thick line between sexual and romantic attraction. Note that sexuality is fluid, and people are free to move from one end of the sexuality spectrum to the other. They are known as aceflux if an asexual person changes their sexuality along the asexual spectrum.

An individual can identify as asexual and aromantic because sometimes, an aromantic person may not feel the need to engage in sex with someone. Such a person is known as aro ace. However, the aromantic and asexual identities can vary from one person to the next.

Signs That You Are Aromantic

An aromantic person will feel that the whole idea of romance is a little too far-fetched. Not every aromantic person may agree with these signs, but they are helpful for people who want a general knowledge of aromanticism. Below are signs to look out for if you feel that you may be aromantic.

You Experience Zero Romantic Crushes

Some people have celebrity crushes growing up, which is quite normal. However, the same cannot be said for aromantic people because they do not find any satisfaction in having a crush or crush, be it a celebrity or a random person. Aromantic people may love or like someone but do not entertain crushes because their emotions are not wired like that.

You Lack The Desire To Be In Romantic Relationships

Social media spaces keep exciting the idea of living a romantically enticing life which resonates with most people because romance is a beautiful experience. Aromantic people lack the desire to be part of any romantic relationship. However, the aromantic spectrum is wide, and some people within the aro spectrum are capable of romantic feelings.

You Draw A Thick Line Between Sexual And Romantic Attraction

Being aromantic does not mean that you are incapable of experiencing sexual attraction towards individuals. Often, an aromantic person will differentiate between sex and romance because they feel like one can engage in sex without being romantically attached to the individual.

You May Not Feel The Need To Be Romantic To Your Partner

Aromantic people date and enter into committed partnerships; often, the person they choose to settle down with has little to zero effect on their romantic side. For aromantic people, it is always a race between compatibility and spiritual love rather than romantic feelings. The thought of having casual sex with people overrides being in a romantic situation with someone.

You Do Not Relate To Romantic Love

Aromantic folks find little to zero joy in romantic relationships because of their sexual orientation. Therefore, when people talk about the essence of romance in a relationship or essence, an aromantic person may not relate to that.

Romantic Gestures Do Not Mean Much To You

Antonsen et al. (2020) revealed that an aromantic person might desire the emotions resulting from being in a romantic relationship. However, most aromantic people may view romantic gestures as red flags, and eventually, they may terminate the relationship.

How To Support Aromantic People

Aromanticism is a new term; people have not yet gotten the hang of it because they feel it is misplaced sexuality. It is the reason why aromantic people, as well as people who fall on the LGBTQIA spectrum, face a lot of stigmatization. You can support the aromantic community by;

• Being respectful of their views on romance and sex.
• Avoid forcing them into talking about their romantic orientation.
• Showing them love during international aromantic day celebrations.

The Bottom Line

Aromanticism refers to people who experience little to no romantic emotions or desires. In essence, they lack the desire to be part of any romantic relationship, and even if they do get the desire, it is a miniature desire. The most common misconception of aromantic people is that they cannot fall in love or show love, which is wrong because aromantic individuals are capable of having platonic relationships and experiencing and showing platonic love. As outlined in the article above, it is vital to note that aromanticism is a spectrum because, in it, there are different levels of aromanticism.

References

Antonsen, A. N., Zdaniuk, B., Yule, M., & Brotto, L. A. (2020). Ace And Aro: Understanding Differences In Romantic Attractions Among Persons Identifying As Asexual. Archives Of Sexual Behavior, 49(5), 1615-1630.

Gold, M. (2018). The Abcs Of LGBTQIA. The New York Times. June 21.

Schudson, Z., & Van Anders, S. (2019). ‘You Have To Coin New Things’: Sexual And Gender Identity Discourses In Asexual, Queer, Or Trans Young People’s Networked Counterpublics. Psychology & Sexuality, 10(4), 354-368.

Stucki, E. G. (2018). Compulsory Sexuality And Amatonormativity In Higher Education: A Photovoice Study With Asexual And Aromantic Students.